My new year resolution is making me restless, sleepless, and joyless. It’s 11.15 a.m right now, and I have not slept not one single minute since yesterday. My brain cannot seem to shut up. My new year resolusion was to stop hiding what and who I am just for the mere fact that I’d be shoved off my family’s mercy. So I’m determind to have a long talk with the parents and my big brother [since he believes I'm a dumbass satan-worshiper cutter].

So my dad is forcing me to go back to kuwait in april. I Lied and told him that my easter holiday is just two weeks, when it’s really three weeks. but anyhow, that means i’m going to have to face them with the truth in 2 months and a few days .. And I’m not sure if I should, Not sure how they’d react to my cuts, to the fact that my uncle sexually abused me [and im dropping the fact that another uncle used to molest me repeatedly]. not sure how they’d react when I tell them I don’t want to play by their religion’s rules.

I’m Terrified and worried.
worried that it would go very bad
that I’ll end up really killing myself ….
because they didnt understand what i would be trying to tell them..
Would this really be it ? would I really be rejected from the family ? ha.
i have no idea.